


Astoria

by Brawness



Category: Winner (Band)
Genre: Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 03:17:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20828516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brawness/pseuds/Brawness
Summary: "You don't see this many stars in Seoul." Seunghoon twined their fingers to ward off the slight chill that settled on Jinwoo's skin."Thank you for taking me here."





	Astoria

"Let's drive."

That was all it took for Seunghoon to go on a twelve hour drive from California to Oregon, taking the scenic route through the pacific northwest. They didn't rush, stopping at every kooky looking rest area, the obscure ones and the frankly unsafe looking ones. 

"Orion is at a different spot here. The stars look strange." Jinwoo said. They were parked on the side of an empty road that had no single light post. It was too cold to go outside, so Seunghoon opened the sunroof instead and reclined their seats back, as far as they could go.

"You don't see this many stars in Seoul." Seunghoon twined their fingers to ward off the slight chill that settled on Jinwoo's skin. 

"Thank you for taking me here." 

He could see Jinwoo's dimple, his every feature in darkness, only illuminated by the gentle light of the stars that Jinwoo so admired. 

"I will go anywhere with you." He whispered. 

Jinwoo turned to him, the stars forgotten, only the ones that sparkled in his eyes as he smiled. 

Seunghoon took a lot of pictures with the camera Seungyoon gave him. The sights from the start of their journey, sending some to Seungyoon and Mino. He took a lot of pictures together with Jinwoo. He took a lot of pictures of Jinwoo. 

Jinwoo looked so happy. They looked so happy. Seunghoon was so happy. 

"Remember that place we found driving that highway that went on forever? It was called 'Heaven on earth'. They have the biggest cinnamon buns I've ever seen." 

Seunghoon remembered. They shared a bun over cups of coffee. The owner was a lovely blonde lady that was so warm and friendly, she kept heating up their pot of water for tea. They tore off pieces of the huge bun, fresh from the oven, sugar, butter and cinnamon melting into the cracks. It was too sweet for their taste but they still ate it. 

Jinwoo tasted like cinnamon sugar that night. 

They drove to Astoria. It was a beautiful seaside city full of quaint little shops and houses. They walked around the streets, ate at restaurants and spent a few nights there. They loved Astoria. 

"I wanna go back to this place someday." Jinwoo mumbled into Seunghoon's shoulder on their last night, watching the sleepy city turn in for the evening. Seunghoon just nodded, twisting the ring that was on Jinwoo's finger. One identical to his own. 

"We will." 

He had no idea how quiet nights could be, under a canopy of trees and blanket of stars. Only the sighs and gasps of Jinwoo, his gentle moans soothing him. No idea how the light of the moon did not even compare to the pale skin that was warmer than the fire back in their cabin. 

Love you. Only you.

The one and only. 

*

They never got to go back to Astoria after all. 

Jinwoo stayed in the hospital ever since Seunghoon found him in their living room unconscious. His condition worsened, the doctors said. He seemed perfectly fine during the months they spent in the US. Aside from some bad spells that reminded Seunghoon of the bitter days ahead, Jinwoo seemed okay. Healthy. 

Not dying. 

Brain tumor, they said. Something invisible. Something final. Inoperable. 

What started as simple headaches, turned to migraines, to seizures. 

Those months abroad were a gift. Priceless. Treasured. He had Jinwoo during his best, his worst, all to himself. 

They checked everything off in their bucket lists and did more than what was on there. They watched shows in New York, Vegas, San Francisco. They even watched Cher. 

"Stop pacing, you're making me dizzy." Jinwoo chided. 

Seunghoon stopped immediately. He looked so dainty in the white hospital bed. All the machines hooked up to him humming like some messed up symphony. Jinwoo sat there like the angel that he was, pale and fragile. His dark hair was long, Seunghoon tied it himself. "Vanity." Jinwoo said. He liked his hair long, regardless of how inconvenient it became. Seunghoon loved it. Loved brushing it, feeling it between his fingers. 

"Hold me?" It wasn't a question as it was a request. Seunghoon would never deny Jinwoo anything. 

He thought he had forever to wake up to Jinwoo smiling up at him. Forever to watch movies and go on trips with him. Forever to give him everything Jinwoo deserved. 

He thought they had a lifetime. To an extent, maybe that was true, expect their lifetimes did not have the same length. 

Every day since his diagnosis, multiple doctors confirming the verdict he dreaded, Seunghoon and Jinwoo agreed to not dwell on the future. To live as normal yet as fully as possible. 

It helped somehow, but Seunghoon's brain could only fool itself so much. There is no denying the weight Jinwoo lost. His dependence on the medications they provided to manage his pain. The fact that the pain got so bad he could barely eat anything for days on end. 

"Stop thinking so much." Jinwoo whispered against his jaw, soft lips pressing there. 

"Sorry." He kissed his forehead and carefully gathered Jinwoo closer. 

Jinwoo put his hand on his chest. Seunghoon took it and pressed it to his mouth, feeling Jinwoo's ring that was loose on his finger. 

"You'll remember me, right?" 

Ah. So it was time for that talk. 

He wasn't ready. He will never be ready. 

He wished. He wished. 

He wished Jinwoo would stop talking. 

"Not all the time though. Once a month is enough." Jinwoo grinned, dimple showing. 

In these moments, it was almost as if Jinwoo wasn't sick.

How cruel.

"You're probably all I'll remember even when I go senile." Seunghoon forced his own smile. "You're impossible to forget." 

"Lies. You won't go senile. You're already too annoying." 

Jinwoo sighed, melting deeper into Seunghoon's embrace. "I'm tired." 

"I know, love." His eyes stung. He held his breath to stop his lungs from shaking. 

"Let's go to sleep?" 

"Mhmm. Go to sleep. I'll watch over you." He promised. 

"Love you." Jinwoo mumbled. 

"Always. Forever." 

*

_ "Like an image passing by, my love, my life _

_ In the mirror of your eyes, my love, my life _

_ I can see it all so clearly _

_ Answer me sincerely _

_ Was it a dream, a lie _

_ But I know I don't possess you _

_ So go away, God bless you _

_ You are still my love and my life _

_ Still my one and only" _

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/usmarchioness?s=09)
> 
> Inspired by all the driving I've done around Oregon and California. 
> 
> Suggested by mercurialmermaid


End file.
